Has the transition from being needed 24/7 for 20+ years and now just “being on-call” have you in limbo? So many moms are struggling to now find their place. Whether you work outside the home or not, the house is too quiet, and clean, and organized. You no longer are running around caring for several other beings, their sports schedules, meals, car-pools, and laundry. You may be experiencing a funk after the dust has settled, it had been cleaned off, and it actually stayed that way. Here are five ideas to find yourself again, and create your new normal.
- Go back to your childhood. What were your favorite activities as a child? This is an exercise that surprises most people. First, close your eyes and mentally go to your childhood home at ten years old. Look in the window. What were you doing? Who were you with? What were you playing or imagining? Go to the place where time stood still for you, yet flew by. Next, open your eyes and jot down everything you can think of for one minute straight. Do not overthink this, just write. When the minute is over, look at it and see what jumps out at you and causes an emotional response. Was it doing puzzles, fixing your bike, playing Scrabble, reading mysteries, making doll clothes, playing school, or store? Visiting the planetarium, hiking, writing, painting, you get the idea. Now list your favorite 3.
This is it, this is where your passion is, your calling, your place of peace. Now, it is 40+ years later and maybe you can’t “play school” but you can substitute teach. You can take a class at your local community college for painting, writing, photography, etc. You can join a local Scrabble Association and meet on a monthly basis. There are also several Sherlockian associations that share their love of Sherlock Holmes mysteries. There is truly something for everyone and never a better time to find networks of like-minded individuals than through the internet. Just start with Google.
Never Stop Learning, it Keeps You Young ~ Cin Di Lo
- Update your resume for a new job, or consulting. Sometimes we don’t even know what we bring to the table. Let’s think about it. At this point in your life you have been through most of life’s challenges and triumphs and you have the wisdom to learn from them. Whether you plan on a new job or career, or are just trying to remind yourself of your worth, this is a great exercise that I used as a business instructor and career counselor, that guided my students with specific steps to attain the future they were preparing for.
This works similar to No. 1 above where you brainstorm all of your educational and professional experience, with your life experience, and look at the whole of what you have to offer. A great way our generation is making good money while working a part-time gig is consulting. It is a great way to combine lifelong skills, experiences and being your own boss. Again, you would start with your network, and include prior vendors, contractors, clients and customers to retain you for your services. There are many certifications for consultants in many industries where you get start-up information and the support of other consultants. Also see, Gen X: Simple Ways to Transform Your Career in Midlife.
Get hired, or hire yourself!
- Make a Plan. Now that you no longer are on your kids’ schedules, it is important that you create a structured day whether you work inside or outside the home. Wake up at the same time on weekdays. Plan the days and times you will walk or exercise, clean, make phone calls. This will help you stay in a routine and feel accomplished and the end of most days. Outside of the things you “have to do” you now have more leeway now to focus on you. If you don’t, you should. It may feel odd at first, however, a me-time schedule is important whether you are an empty nester, or so busy you don’t have time to pee. When I was in the chaos of my 40s between house, kids, work, ill parents, I created a Self-Care plan for myself and now share it with my readers. It helps you to carve out me-time into every day, week, month, and year. It challenges you to get creative and seek out new experiences and adventures to fulfill your body, mind, and soul. For this month’s free planner, click here.
When the clock strikes midlife, it’s time to live your life on PURPOSE ~ Cin Di Lo
- Start a Business. According to Forbes Magazine, “Successful entrepreneurs are middle-aged” and that age predicts success and that the highest success rates in entrepreneurship come from founders in middle age and beyond.” Data from the US Census Bureau found the “batting average” for creating a successful company rises dramatically with age. “A 50-year-old founder is 1.8 times more likely to achieve upper-tail growth than a 30-year-old.” And more specifically, the number of businesses-owned by women in the US has more than doubled in 20 years, and the reason why is encouraging: “Research shows that women’s confidence at work increases with age, while at the same time, their family responsibilities [typically] decrease.” This is our time to shine and we are in our prime. Often, at this point in our lives we have more finances, more experience, more connections, and most importantly, more patience than any other age demographic. For the whole article, click here.
Please don’t dismiss this idea. Becoming the next Fortune 500 company is not necessary. You can always have a small, local business that fits your schedule:
- Elderly companion/assistant – there is a serious need to help the senior community stay in their homes longer and have assistance with daily tasks such as light cleaning, laundry, food shopping, errands.
- Dog walker/Pet Sitter – this is becoming a big business and it is fun and fairly easy to work into your schedule.
- Start a blog/freelance writer – this is fun and you really do not have to be a “writer.” You will be a natural if you blog and share in a niche that you are really passionate about. Many bloggers gain notoriety and get author deals and become social media influencers.
- Volunteer. Schools, hospitals, nursing homes, crisis centers, and animal rescues rely on, and always appreciate volunteers. If you miss volunteering at your kids’ schools, they would still love to have you. Local libraries and literary councils also seek help during the school year. Is there a certain non-profit organization that you always donated to, or wanted to donate to? Your time is just as valuable to them as your money. For help finding a volunteer organization that matches your interests and values, visit Volunteermatch.org
By the way, you may find that you get used to the new normal and restful nights. Let’s face it, we love and miss our kids, but when they return home, whether they were away at college or moving back in for “a while,” so does their laundry, all of their stuff, and the late nights of cooking frozen pizza at 9:00 p.m., going out at 10:00 p.m., and getting home at 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. By the end of their break, you may looking for a break!
Author’s Notes:
Take some time to think about what lights you up and makes you come alive. If it’s been too long ago to remember, go back to the creative days in your childhood and explore how you can incorporate that into your life right now. Baby steps…Comment below, I’d love to hear about your new adventures. ~ CinDiLo
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